Fanservice Club
by lxoxjoanxoxl
Summary: Allen Walker defied the expectations of the Noah and entered the Black Order Academy to become a lawyer. Upon arriving, he, Kanda, and Lavi are roped into joining the 'Fan-Service Club.' Now he has to wear a dress and face many unwanted suitors. Oh God...
1. Chapter 1

**The Fan-Service Club**

**J.A.L: Introductions are boring, so let's go right to the yaoi!**

_**Pairings: KandaxAllen, LavixAllen, LenaleexAllen, TykixAllen . . . a lot of people x Allen**_

**Allen: Why am I whored out?**

**J.A.L: Who knows. Just deal with it!**

**AU, High School fic**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man, never had, never will.**

Chapter 1 – The Fan-Service Club

_We of the Fan-Service Club exist to help out those in need and bring fan-service joy to all despite the will and at the expense of our club members. _

&

_A little boy swung on the swing attached to a large oak tree, alone. Softly, he swung back and forth with a lonely expression on his face. His father was talking to someone and Allen had no one else at the mansion to play with, seeing as Road nee-chan and Tyki nii-chan weren't here. When the boy had left the room, the tension seemed high so Allen forgot to ask his father if he could go out to play with the other children. Because he was not one to do anything without being given permission, Allen stayed within the perimeters of the mansion, feeling very sad. He looked at the stone wall, the physical thing keeping him from the outside. He was so bored that he wouldn't even mind his retard cousins, Jasdero and Debitto, being here. At least they're fun!_

_His pet . . . thing flew to his shoulder. The thing was a Golden Snitch-like ball with wings and a lion like tail with razor sharp teeth included. Its name was Timcanpy and Allen had the golden ball for as long as he could remember. Allen smiled, "Hello, Timcanpy. Thanks for keeping me company."_

_All of a sudden, an orange ball flew over the wall and rolled near Allen. Surprised, he picked up the ball, "Eh?" Looking around, he wondered, 'Where did that ball come from?' Glance at the wall, he thought, 'From over the wall?'_

_He heard voices and scrapping noises._

"_Stupid rabbit, losing the ball on the other side of this wall! And in the yard of the Noah family as well!!"_

"_Calm down, Yuu! We'll just go and grab it, then scram."_

"_Don't call me by my first name, stupid rabbit!"_

"_Stop calling me stupid rabbit and then we'll talk."_

_Two boys popped over the wall and fell down to land on the ground. They didn't seem to notice Allen until they looked up. Allen's breath was caught in his throat. For children, they were surprisingly good looking. He felt his face heat ever so slightly._

_The red haired boy cursed slightly, "C-crap, I didn't think there was anyone here!" He waved his hands around, "Um, we're not intruders or anything! We just want our ball back!"_

_The black haired boy pointed to the orange ball Allen was holding and said, "Give it to us so we can go back to playing."_

_Allen looked down at the ball and back at the two. He tilted his head, "What do I get in return?" _

_His foster father was sometimes away on trips, so his god-father would take care of him . . . if drinking liquor and treating Allen like Cinderella would be considered taking care of. However, his god-father (who told Allen to refer him as Master. He had heard his father muttering something about shota-con and perverted play, but he never understood what was wrong with calling his god-father Master) did teach him a bit . . . like never do something without being given something in return. Though Allen, being a kind child, didn't really do things like that, he felt that this time would be considered an exception._

_The black haired boy spluttered, looking angry, "What do __**you **__get?!"_

_Allen smiled innocently, "This is my property. I could always call the guards to alert them of unwelcomed presences." The evil behind those words contradicted majorly with his innocent look, coupled with sparkles and all._

_The two boys shivered in fear of the demonic angel. The red haired boy asked, "O-okay then, what do you want?"_

_Allen scrunched his face as he thought and then said, "I want to go outside and play with someone . . ." He looked very sad._

_The red haired boy's heart went out to the pale boy. He hugged the tiny boy tightly, saying, "Oh, poor boy! Yuu-chan and I will play with you then!!" _

_The black haired boy asked, "We?"_

_Allen smiled as he said in a sing-song voice, "Se-cu-ri-ty~!"_

_The black hair boy's eye twitched, "F-fine . . ." He asked, "So, do you want to play catch or something?" _

_Allen nodded, "Alright!"_

_&_

_After half an hour of playing, Allen was exhausted but happy. The trio collapsed in a pile, sitting next to each other. They panted with smiles on their faces. Timcanpy flew around them._

_The red haired boy looked at the setting sun, "Looks like we have to go soon."He stood up._

_Allen asked, grabbing the boy's jacket, "Already?" _

_The red haired boy grinned, "Don't worry, we'll come back, right Yuu?"_

_The black haired boy looked to the side and said, "Che."_

_The red haired boy said, "That means yes in Yuu language."_

_Allen looked happy, "Really?" He smiled, "I'll be looking forward to it." _

_The red haired boy grinned, "Us too. By the way, I never got your name."_

_Allen said, "It's Allen Walker. What about you two?"_

_They opened their mouths to speak . . ._

&

BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!

Allen woke up to the obnoxious sound of his alarm clock. He grumbled as he slapped the button, shutting up the damn thing. He got up grudging and checked the calendar. His eyes widened as he realized what date it. He whispered excitedly to himself, "Today's the day!"

His pet, Timcanpy, fluttered to his shoulder. Allen smiled, "Good morning Timcanpy. Today's my first day at my new school!"

Quickly, he got undressed and into the shower. Catching sight of himself in the mirror, he stared at the soft white hair, scar on his left eye, and burnt, deformed left arm. All of a sudden, his happiness dulled as painful memories of how he got those features resurfaced. Then, he shook his head, 'No, I can't wallow in the past. I have to keep moving forward, like Mana told me to!' With his resolve renewed, he quickly showered and got dressed. He wore a simple white collar shirt with a gray vest over it and a red ribbon around his collar. For pants, he wore black pants and black shoes. He also wore white gloves. This wasn't his school uniform, but he was going to receive it later.

He made his breakfast, five plates of cheese and bacon omelets, toast with butter and jam, ham, and home-fries. As for drinks, he had two glasses of milk and juice each. Finishing his breakfast in record time and giving Timcanpy some leftovers, Allen grabbed his bag and headed out the door to his new school.

&

Looking up at the grand building, Allen whispered, "Black Order Academy . . ."

Allen was the second of his family to go to the Black Order Academy. Everyone else went to the Noah Ark Academy, which was the rival school of the Black Order. The only other person who went to the Black Order was Allen's uncle, the Fourteenth. The main reason Allen went to the Black Order was because of encouragement from his guardian (who was a prosecutor), Cross Marian. The Black Order had many students that became successful lawyers, which was Allen's goal. Because of his decision, his grandfather, the Millennium Earl, was displeased with him. His cousins still loved him, though.

Allen walked in through the gate and marveled at how many children there were. He looked at their black and white coats with the Black Order's trademark rose crest. There were numbers on the collar of the coats to show what grade the children were in.

As Allen proceeded to the principal's office, he could feel the stares of other children. He wondered, 'Is it because of my hair or scar?' What the boy didn't realize was that the children had blushes, love-stricken looks, drool coming out of their mouth, or blood coming out of their noses. Ever since he was little, Allen had an androgynous but youthfully beautiful face. Unfortunately, he was painfully unaware of that.

Having found the door to the office, Allen knocked on it to hear a. 'Come in!' Opening the door to the paper-filled room, he smiled, "Hello, Komui-san."

The black haired, glasses man looked up and said excitedly, "Allen-kun, you're here!"

Komui Lee was Allen's neighbor since Allen was ten. The eccentric man and his sister, Lenalee, were like siblings to Allen and vice versa. Needless to say, those two were another reason for Allen coming to the Black Order.

Allen smiled, "It's nice to see you are doing well."

Komui flung himself at Allen, with Timcanpy flying around in circles, "Allen, it's been such a long time! And you've gotten . . . slightly . . . taller . . ."

Allen smiled hollowly, "It is ok. I don't need you to lie to me."

Komui coughed, "Anyways, welcome Allen. I believe you got all the supplies you need, right?"

Allen nodded, "I have."

Komui exclaimed, "Great! By the way, you're staying in a dorm with two second-years and they will guide you through the school. They should be coming up now . . ." At that, there was a knock on the door. He exclaimed, "That must be them! Come in!"

The door opened to revealed two, lean, handsome teenagers. One had fiery red hair and a mischievous green . . . eye. The other one was covered by an eye-patch. The second one was a raven-haired, androgynous male (he is a male . . . right?) with icy black eyes. The red haired boy said, "Hey, Principal Komui!" The raven haired boy only looked on icily.

Komui said, "Ah, Lavi-san, Kanda-san, this is Allen, the new first-year who will be staying in the same dorm as you!"

The two looked at the white-haired teenager, who felt slightly nervous under their gaze. Glancing at their collar, Allen saw that they were second-years. He bowed, "I am Allen Walker. I am pleased to meet you, sempais **(upper classmen)**." Timcanpy flew around and landed in Allen's snowy white hair.

The two stared, and then the red haired boy laughed. Allen looked up sharply, confused and insulted. The red haired boy caught the look on Allen's face. He hastily explained, "Ah, I wasn't laughing at you! It's just that I never been given such a formal greeting." He smiled and patted Allen's head (Timcanpy had flew up and flew around in circles), "No need for the formality, kohai **(lower classmen)**. The name's Lavi Bookman and the sour-looking guy over there is Yuu Kanda."

Kanda glared, "Who are you calling sour, stupid rabbit?"

Lavi laughed, "See? Don't mind him too much."

Kanda scoffed, "Che." He still looked annoyed, though.

Lavi whispered into Allen's ear, "Though he can be sour and violent, he can be a real softie. You just gotta know him well."

Allen said, "Um, is that so . . ?" He hesitantly held out a hand to Kanda, "Pleased to meet you, Kanda-sempai."

Kanda took one look at Allen and glared, "I don't shake hands with freshmen, especially ones that look like an old man . . . or should I say woman?" He smirked

Allen twitched and let the hand drop to his side. He yelled, "Who are you calling an old woman?! You look more like a girl than me, Ba-Kanda!" Manners be damned, this guy deserved it! Allen hadn't done anything to him and already, he was a jerk.

Kanda growled, "Who are you calling a girl, bean sprout?! I should shave off your hair and sell it to old geezers!"

Allen replied with a smile, "Wouldn't black hair sell for more? You do have plenty to spare. Ah, I forgot! Your IQ is below average so of course you wouldn't have realized that."

Fire surrounded the two teens. The background became a storm with lightning flashing (how, we'll never know). The intensity of their glares caused sparks to fly.

Lavi laughed nervously, "Now, now, let's try to get along."

The two turned their head to him, their eyes burning with intensity, **"Shut up or we'll shave your hair."** That nearly made Lavi wet himself. Note the word nearly in that sentence.

At that moment, there was a knock at the door. Lavi blinked, "Hmm? Who could that be?"

Komui said, an antenna appearing on his head, "My Lenalee senses are tingling! Come in!"

Sure enough, the door opened to reveal the Asian girl. Her black hair (which had a green sheen to it) was tied up in their customary pigtails and her emerald eyes shone with excitement. She said, "Nii-san, is Allen-kun here--?" She then caught sight of the white haired boy and said happily, "Allen-kun!"

Allen smiled, "Lenalee!"

Lenalee pulled Allen into a hug, which Allen reciprocated. Lavi blinked and glanced nervously at Komui. Everyone knew about Komui's large sister complex and Komui would pummel anyone who even looked at his little sister, much less touch. But to his surprise, Komui looked relatively calm, though a little tense. Once Lenalee pulled away, Komui relaxed completely. Lavi stared at Allen, 'Uwah, Komui must have a really high opinion of him or Allen would be dead by now.'

Allen smiled, "Lenalee, it's been a long time!"

Lenalee smiled, "Allen-kun, you're finally here! I was getting worried because you were late."

Allen turned away, looking sheepish, "Um, I got lost on the way here so . . ."

Kanda scoffed, "Idiot."

Allen glared at him, "Shut up! I'm bad with directions!"

Lavi said, "Yo, Lenalee. Neh, you never told me that you knew the new student."

Lenalee smiled, "Allen used to be my neighbor for a couple of years, but then he moved and we contact each other only once in a while." She glared at Allen, "Why didn't you return all of my letters and calls?"

Allen said, "Ah, well, Master and I were constantly on the move ever since we left you two. He wanted to show me around the world and teach me things . . . but we were really just running from debt-collectors." Allen looked away forlornly as unpleasant memories came up.

Kanda and Lavi stared. Kanda spluttered, "What kind of fucking perverted play are you involved in?!"

Allen blinked, "What are you talking . . ." Then, it came to him and he turned the color of a tomato, "N-no, it's not that way! Master is what I call my guardian, Cross Marian!"

Lavi's interest was piqued, "Cross Marian? Wow, I would have never thought that you would be related to the famous scientist, Cross Marian. Didn't he use to be the science teacher here?"

Komui twitched, "Yes and he still is. But that bastard skips out on his work so much he might as well not be!! That womanizer is still alive, is he?! I'm going to send him complaints as soon as I can!" He had a mini spasm and he ranted about how irresponsible Cross was.

Lenalee said, "Never mind, you need to get settled first! After that, we'll show you around the school!"

Kanda asked, sounding annoyed, "We?"

Lenalee said firmly, "Yes, you, me, and Lavi. It would be good to spend time with your new roommate to get comfortable with him."

Under the pressure of Lenalee's glare, Kanda bended to her will. He said with a 'che,' "Fine."

Lenalee smiled and then took Allen's hand. She dragged him, "Come on, there's a lot you need to see!" Lavi and Kanda trailed behind dutifully.

Komui waved, "Have fun! And Allen, make sure no one flirts with Lenalee!!" Once they were gone, Komui grinned evilly, 'Now Allen is here, all the players are assembled. I shall commence Operation: Fan-service Club immediately.'


	2. Chapter 2

_**Darkspider:**__** Uwah~ ^__^ I already love this fic~ The plot is awesome~!! Haha!!  
I love fics like this, with Allen being related to the Noahs and everything. ^_^ So he played with Kanda and Lavi when he was younger eh...  
Komui is evil. Lol.  
^_^ Waiting for the next chapter~~!!**_

**Hehe, thanks. Komui isn't evil . . . He's dedicated. He's a man with a plan, and a goal. XD**

_**EvilChinchilla: o.O uh oh...Komui is up to something! :o Great chapter. Can't wait to see where this is going! Update again soon please~!  
Chinchilla out. (And if I did spell this animal's name wrong, I am so sorry!)**_

**Uh, when is Komui **_**not**_** up to something? XD And here's your update. By the way, your spelling's correct.**

_**Little1991:**__** fan-service club? allen run while you can! lol then again no one can really can get away from komui's plan can they?**_

**No, no one can. XD You're worried about Allen? 0.0 Please, Allen can be easily convinced if he is given food coupons, hahaha. And Lavi, he wouldn't even need persuasion. He'd probably be all like, 'Oh sure, sounds fun!' Now Kanda . . . He's the problem . . .**

_**ShiroSakuraTenshi:**__** did u get the idea from the manga princess princess?**_

**No, I didn't. I don't even know about Princess Princess that well. All I know is that there are three cross-dressing boys. XD I got the idea from . . . well, I just wanted to dress up Allen in cute clothes, buu. **

Chapter 2 – A Tour of the Black Order Academy

The four students walked through the halls of the Black Order Academy. Lenalee asked, "Allen, how much do you know about the school?"

Allen recited, "The Black Order Academy is a very prestigious and ancient school. It is an elementary school, middle school, and high school. Many rich and talented students attend and leave successful, granted they work hard."

Lavi said, "It looks like someone's been doing their homework!"

Kanda sneered, "What homework? He doesn't have a clue about the school except for what he's heard. He doesn't even know about Exorcists and Finders!"

Allen, deciding to ignore Kanda (and thus pissing Kanda more off), asked Lenalee, "What does he mean?"

Lenalee explained, "In the Black Order Academy, there are two groups in this school, the Exorcists and the Finders. The Exorcists consists of the more talented and richer children while the Finders consist of the harder-working, but talented children. Each group wears a different uniform." She added, "Lavi, Kanda, you, and I are all in the Exorcist group."

Allen asked, "Eh? I only saw one type of uniform on my way here."

Lenalee supplied helpfully, "That's because the two groups are usually divided. You've been in the Exorcist section all this time."

Allen thought, 'Eh, but I wandered around a bit . . . How big is this school?'

During the tour of the Exorcist section of the school, Lenalee pointed out a couple of places, "That's the science lab room . . . Over there's the pool . . . Here is our cafeteria (Allen took great interest in that) . . ."

Lavi would occasionally interject, "Mr. Toma's really boring but he's nice. Mr. Zokalo's a crazy dude, watch out for him! Mrs. Nyne's got a smoking hot body (Lenalee smacked Lavi at that point)."

The four ran into a teacher carrying a huge load of books. Allen accidentally crashed into her and the books went flying.

The woman exclaimed, "OH!"

Allen immediately apologized, "I'm sorry miss, are you alright?"

The woman started quivering, and wailed, "Oh, not again! I am very sorry to have caused you trouble! You even apologized to me, on top of that!! I am so horrible!"

Allen backed up a little at this point. The woman was doing strange, half-seizure, panic movements.  
Lenalee went over to calm the woman.

Allen whispered, "Um, who is that, and is she always like that?"

Lavi replied, "That's Miss Miranda Lotto, the 1st year History Teacher. And yes, she's like this a lot. She tried to commit suicide a few times, too."

Allen exclaimed, "What?!"

Lavi shrugged, "She has an inferiority complex, and it seems that she can't do much right because she's clumsy. Still, she is a good history teacher, everyone gives her that."

Lenalee (having subdued Miranda) and Miranda (having been subdued) walked up to Allen, Kanda, and Lavi. Miranda bowed, "I-I apologize for my behavior earlier."

Allen smiled, "Don't worry about it. It was my fault for not looking." He asked, "Ms. Lotto, was it? My name is Allen Walker. I am a 1st year here and new to this school. If I will have you for a teacher, I look forward to your lessons." Once his speech was finished, he saw that Miranda looked like she was about to cry again.

She said through sniffles, "Y-you are so kind and polite." She said, regaining composure, "I hope I will be teaching you. Ah, I need to get back to finish my errands." With books in her hands, she smiled, "I'll see you children later."

Allen commented once Miranda was gone, "That was interesting."

Lenalee looked at Allen, "Hey, Allen, do you know what homeroom you're in?"

Allen said, "1A, I believe."

Lenalee exclaimed, "That's the same as me!" She grabbed Allen's hands and clasped them together eagerly, "We'll have so much fun together!"

Allen smiled, "I'm sure we will, Lenalee."

Kanda snapped, "Enough of this love-fest. I'm getting sick from watching you two."

Lavi laughed, "You feel left out, Yuu? I can give you a hug." **(Haha, yes this may be all the LaviYuu you'll ever get out of this fanfiction.)**

Kanda hissed, "Touch me and you die."

Allen commented, "Someone has anger issues."

Kanda shot back, "I'd rather have anger issues than growth issues."

Allen glared, "What was that, Ba-Kanda?"

Kanda was surprised, "The fuck?!"

Allen smirked, "You heard me right. Just because I'm British doesn't mean I know any Japanese, _Ba-Kan-da_."

Lavi, who knew Japanese, said amazed, while laughing, "Wow, that's a pretty clever nickname! I never thought of it like that!"

Even Lenalee giggled a bit.

Kanda scowled, "Whatever, I'm done with playing fucking tour-guide!" With that, the raven-haired teen stomped off in another direction.

Lenalee shouted, "Hey, Kanda, come back!" He was too far away, though. Lenalee sighed, "Jeez, boys really do mature slowly." She glanced at her watch and exclaimed, "Oh crap, I need to get going!"

Allen asked, "Where are you going?"

Lenalee replied, "I'm the president of the student council. A meeting is about to be held soon, and I can't afford to be late." She looked at Lavi, "Lavi, show Allen the rest of the school." She glared, "Don't do anything inappropriate."

Lavi said innocently, "How could you accuse me of such a thing, Lenalee?"

Lenalee said, "Because I know you too well." She said, "Well, I'm going. I'll see you two later. Tell me if Lavi gives you any trouble." With a wave of her hand, she dashed off.

Lavi whistled, "Damn, she runs fast."

Allen said, turning away, "Ah . . . yeah." Painful memories of when Lenalee chased after him to force him into girl clothes and play tea party with her resurfaced.

Lavi asked, "You ok, dude?"

Allen smiled, "Yes, I just remembered something I thought I had forgotten." He looked away forlornly.

Lavi said, "Erm . . . let's finish the tour then." He grinned, "I think you're going to like it here, shortie."

Allen pouted a bit, "My name is Allen."

**I'LL WRITE THE REST LATER, FOR NOW, ACCEPT THIS PLEASE, OK, THANKS, BYE. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well I decided I messed around too much. All my other stories had been updated into the 2010 year except this one! So here we go!!!!!!!!**

_**kunf'you'z-ed: **__**when are you going to update this? it has been FOREVER! i really like the plot so far! i cant wait until Komui puts his plan into action! why doesn't Lavi Allen and Kanda remember they had played together? did something happen? i really want to know what happens next so... PLEASE UPDATE SOON! thanx bye!**_

**Well I'm updating now, so does that count? Lol.**

**Some memories are hard to recall. They faintly remember in the back of their head but not enough to fully recall it.**

_**Myaeve: Aw Lavichan, Kandachan and Allenchan playing together as children is so cute!! lol this story has a lot of potenical *omg i cant spell to save my life* and iam really curious to see what you make of it so please can that 'update later' be 'update now' -Insert hopeful smile herE-  
^-^ oxox**_

***waves my arms***

**Mooooi, I have school and stuff you know! Stuyvesant gives out tests every freaking week! I can't help it if I don't really have time (or the attention span, lol. I get distracted by other things, LIKE INVADER ZIMMM, BEST SHOW EVEEEEEEER!)**

_**Sakura's Conscience: Didn't allen already call kanda 'ba-kanda' in chapter one? myu? he's still surprised? ... OwO I'm happy~! You haven't updated in a while...but its all good! I haven't either...should think about that... :\ Anyways! I'm a fan for Fanservice Club~! Please continue! ~^^~**_

***waves hand* Hahaha, Kanda's just slow. **

**Johanna: *holds up a sign* (Totally trying to cover up for the fact that she completely forgot about it)**

_**Little1991: hm... i wonder if lenalee's forced dressing of allen was one of the reasons that given komui the idea.  
after all the guy tries hard to please his sister.**_

**Well I suppose that could be part of his reason, but his real reason is that he needs money for all the times he destroyed the labs with his experiments (was planning to reveal this later, but it's not much of a spoiler so it's ok). **

**Xbleedinglotusx: **_**YAY! I really love this story. Kanda's such a jerk, Lenalee's somewhat of a sadist, Lavi's a very laid-back womanizer, and Allen is so sweet and innocent. The pure joy of this story to me makes me dizzy*faints.***_

I think I overdid it,oh well  
~LOTUS

**Lol, I feel a need to defend them. He's not a jerk … He's a jerk WITH a heart of gold! Lenalee's just a girl who knows what she wants. XD Lavi's laid-back and a pervert, just like any other teenage boy. Allen has an evil side to him they shall seen very soon. *cackles* Otherwise he's sweet and innocent. =)**

_**MitarashiiDango: OMG  
NEW CHAPTER!  
NEW CHAPTER!  
excited excited excited  
YOU FINALLY GOT AROUND TO UPDATING THIS!  
wo~  
omg..so hyped up with excitement  
YAYY!!  
NOW UPDATE  
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE  
lenalee dressed allen as a girl!?  
*shudder***_

**Lol, someone is happy. It makes me feel bad that I didn't update in like forever. XD And someone had to dress Allen as a girl first! =O **

Chapter 3 – The Last Day of Peace

Lavi pointed around, "As you can see, this is the Science and Gym floor mainly. We take cycles with P.E. class."

Allen asked, "What do you mean?"

Lavi elaborated, "Well we have an A cycle and a B cycle. Each cycle takes turns having P.E. days. For example, Monday would be an A day, and then the next day would be a B day. You get the pattern, right?"

Allen nodded, "What about the days you don't have P.E.?"

Lavi responded, "Double science." He grinned, "Neh, who do you have for science?"

Allen glanced at his schedule, "Umm, Krowly . . ."

Lavi grinned, "Seriously? What period?"

Allen replied, "Fifth period."

Lavi slung his arm over Allen, "Sweet, we're in the same class! You're gonna love Kuro-chan, he's super nice with grading."

Allen blinked as he stopped trying to get away from Lavi's weight, "You call Krowly-sensei Kuro-chan?"

Lavi said, "Kuro-chan was a friend of my cousin, so I knew him before he started teaching here. I don't call him Kuro-chan in class though."

Allen thought, 'Class with Lavi . . . filled with dangerous potions that might cause an explosion like those in the shows . . . Dear Lord.'

Lavi gave Allen a grin, "You're probably thinking I'm a clutz, aren't cha?"

Allen blinked, "E-eh, you could tell?"

Lavi poked Allen's cheek, "Your face is too easy to read. Just in case you didn't know, I'm the top scorer out of all the second-years."

Allen stared in disbelief. Lavi seemed too laid-back and unprofessional to be the top student out of all the second-years in this prestigious school. He exclaimed, "No way!"

Lavi laughed, "It's true! I've got a photographic memory, that's why. Ask Lenalee or Yuu."

Allen thought, 'I suppose it's always those who seem least like it. I suppose that's why Lavi's so hyper. He doesn't have to worry about studying and all that.'

Lavi waggled a finger, "Don't judge people by first appearances. Take for example Yuu."

Allen echoed, "Kanda?"

Lavi said affirmatively, "Yuu. He seems like one of the biggest jerks here, right?"

Allen nodded slowly. It was certainly that way to him right now. But what kind of layers did that BaKanda have under his jack-ass exterior? Allen was more than a bit curious about it.

Lavi said, "Well under that, Yuu is really a nice guy."

Allen snorted at that. Kanda? He had as much sensitivity as a garbage can.

Lavi said, "No, no, I'm serious! Yah just gotta know him well. Did you know that when I was sick, he went outta his way to buy me some medicine and chicken soup?"

Allen raised an eyebrow, ". . . Why do I get the distinct feeling you're lying?"

Lavi asked, "Whaaat, you don't believe me?"

Allen responded in a dead-pan voice, "No, not really."

Lavi admitted, "Well, ok, it took a bit of persuading and blackmail, but he DID do it for me!"

Allen laughed, "I thought so."

Lavi started up, trying to shake off his first failure to impress Allen, "But that's not all! That guy's the third highest scorer in the school!"

Allen was really shocked, "That BaKanda?!"

Lavi nodded, "Believe it or not, he does study. It's because he has to maintain his good grade to stay in the Kendo Club."

Allen asked, interested, "He's in the Kendo Club?" He reasoned in his mind, 'He did seem to have muscle on him. I guess he gets it from Kendo.' He sighed enviously as he glanced at his arm. It was lean and DID have muscle . . . but it didn't show what so ever.

Lavi grinned, "Come on, I bet he's practicing in the club room right now! You'll definitely want to see him in action!"

Before Allen could protest that he didn't want to see Kanda, Lavi had already dragged them down two flights of stairs.

&

Lavi pointed to a door, "Kanda is in here! Let's surprise him!"

Allen was about to warn Lavi that it was probably a bad idea, but it was too late. Lavi swung the door open, "Hey, Yuu—"

He was greeted by a very real, not bamboo sword mere millimeters away from his throat. Holding up his hands in a submissive gesture, he said with tears of fear in his eyes, "Y-Yuu what are you doing with Mugen?"

Kanda was radiating with a positively_ murderous_ aura, "Do I have to repeat it for you again? Don't fucking call me by my first name."

Allen peeped into the room. He saw Kanda was wearing the traditional kendo gear, Men (a mask), Do (an armor for his upper body), Tare (a skirt-like thing that was around his waist), and Kote (gloves). Under it, Kanda wore a kegikogi and a hakama. Nothing unusual, except . . . Allen blinked at the katana Kanda held, "Why are you holding a real sword instead of a bamboo one?"

Kanda glared, "Che, the Bean Sprout is here, too?"

Allen had an eerie smile on that clearly screamed, 'Fuck you.' He said, "That's not a very nice response, Kanda. Saa, keep up your end of the conversation and try to be civil."

Kanda snorted, "Up yours."

Lavi explained, "That's Kanda's beloved sword, Mugen. You won't see him without it anywhere."

Allen asked, surprised, "Even in class?"

Lavi nodded, "Even in class." He added, "That's why it's best to try to not piss him off too much, or you'll ended up being sliced like a carrot." He shuddered. Clearly bad memories were rising to the surface.

Kanda glared as he went back to the center of the dojo where there was a target puppet set up, "What the hell are you two doing here?"

Lavi chirped, "We came to see you practice, Yu—Kanda." Lavi said hastily as Kanda threw him a nasty glare.

Kanda snorted, "What a retarded reason. Like hell I'll practice in front of you idiots."

The devious part of Allen was awakened as he said, "Why not? Are you afraid you'd make a fool of yourself in front of us?"

"What?" Kanda demanded, taking the bait.

Allen said, "It's ok, we won't laugh at you Kanda, no matter how much you suck."

Kanda raised Mugen and pointed it at Allen's throat in a swift, fluid movement. He glared, "I'll make you eat those words, Bean Sprout."

Allen smirked, not at all fazed by the sharp metal threatening to sever his head off. He teased, "I'm sure." He ignored Lavi, who was waving his hands wildly and fervently whispering, 'Allen, what are you doing?!!!'

A murderous aura surrounded Kanda as he moved his sword away. He walked over to the straw dummy and moved himself into a preparation position. A moment of silence passed before Kanda swung the sword so fast, Lavi and Allen barely caught it.

"Is that it—" Allen started to say before the straw dummy came apart. It was vertically cut with twelve different cuts perfectly parallel to each other and evenly spaced. Allen's mouth hung open for a few seconds before he closed it.

Kanda turned towards Allen with a victorious smirk at his dumb-found face. He asked, "Whose laughing now?"

Allen blinked with a slight tinge of red on his face (half embarrassment, half annoyance). However, he was a gentleman and knew when to give credit when it was due. He slowly gave a genuine smile, "Wow. That was pretty cool, Kanda." He added with a bit of a teasing smirk, "I guess you had to be good at something!"

Kanda said, with a bit of a blush on his face "Che, about time you realized how superior I am to you."

Lavi supplied, "Which in Yuu-speak is 'thanks.'"

Kanda shouted, "Shut up, stupid rabbit!"

Allen decided to take his teasing one step further, "In fact . . . I think I might have fallen for you!"

Kanda and Lavi's heads snapped in Allen's direction. Both had identical looks of shock on their face. The difference was that Kanda's face had become red.

Kanda spluttered, "W-what?!"

Lavi waved his arms, "Are you serious, Allen?"

"No, no I'm not," Allen replied with the happiest smile on his face.

Kanda shouted, "The fuck, Bean Sprout?! Don't make stupid jokes like that again!"

Allen asked, "Why? Did I get your hopes up?" He held his hand in front of his face with a face of exaggerated dramatic-ness. His eyes were lit up with sadistic glee.

Kanda shouted with an angry blush on his face, "Hell no!"

Meanwhile, in the corner, Lavi breathed a sigh of relief. The plot wasn't suppose to develop so quickly. This was a comedy-harem fanfiction, not a typical, cheesy shojo comic! **(Wait, do I sense the fourth wall breaking?)** He then turned back and said, "Maah, you shouldn't tease Yuu too much, Allen—"

This was the last straw for Kanda as he launched at Lavi, "Don't fucking call me Yuu!!!!!"

Lavi had a look of terror as he realized he wasn't going to get away alive.

At that moment, a boot connected squarely with Kanda's head, sending him crashing to the floor face-first. Lavi looked up with admiration, "My savior!"

Lenalee said, scolding mode on, "Kanda! What did I say about controlling your temper? And Lavi, you know better than to make Kanda mad."

Allen blinked, "Lenalee? I thought you were busy."

Lenalee turned to Allen with a smile, "Ah, yes, I finished with my part of the work. I hurried back here because I had a feeling things were getting ugly." She glared at Lavi and Kanda, "And I was right."

The scene turned into Lenalee scolding Lavi and Kanda, with Lavi making crude jokes every now and then (earning him an occasional kick) and Kanda fuming. Allen couldn't help but laugh at how peaceful the scene appeared despite it being so dysfunctional. He smiled, 'These next few years are going to be fun, I can tell.'

If he knew what was going to happen tomorrow, he would have immediately revised his statement.

&

**Why do I feel this chapter was just a bunch of pointless dialogue? **


	4. Chapter 4

**I have not been working on this for a while. I also feel this is my least developed story. So, I started on this chapter. Enjoy!**

**No review-reply because I'm too lazy. **

**By the way, some people might have been confused as to whether or not Lavi was hoping Kanda and Allen would get together. The answer is no because he's not particularly interested in them getting together so much as the plot moving smoothly. Also, he doesn't have any feelings for Allen as of yet, so yeaaah. **

Chapter 4 – Eh? Fan-Service Club?

Allen awoke to the sound of birds chirping and Lavi's face. He hazily recalled that he was now in the Black Order Dormitory… Wait back up one second. Lavi's face?

Lavi grinned, "Morning!"

Blinking two times, Allen then let out a small 'Gyaaaaah!' as he punched Lavi out of reflex.

"OOFF!"

Lavi went spiraling to the other side of the room, stopping once he hit a wall with his face. He slowly slid to the ground, moaning in pain.

Allen then registered that he had just punched Lavi. Quickly getting out of bed, he ran over to Lavi, apologizing profusely, "A-Ah! Lavi-sempai, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, it was out of reflex, are you hurt, is anything broken—mffph!"

His wild train of thoughts and words were cut short by Lavi covering his mouth. Lavi laughed (blood dripping down his forehead), "Whoa, chill there beansprout. I told you already to just call me Lavi. Formalities aren't my thing, you know?"

Taking his hand away, Allen blinked rapidly, "You're not mad at me for punching you?"

Lavi said, "Erm, a little for hitting my sexy face, but otherwise I'm cool." He grinned (Allen noticed a missing tooth), "Yuu's put me through worse." He got up, "Now, let's get you ready for your first day at school!"

Allen followed suit, eyes sparkling eagerly, "Ok!" He had completely forgotten to ask Lavi why his face was so close to Allen's in the first place, but in the back of his mind, he wrote it off as one of Lavi's eccentric quirks. He called out, "Timcanpy!"

The golden ball flew out from behind Allen's pillow and landed on his shoulder. Allen smiled and pet him, "Come on, we're going out."

Lavi commented, "That thing still amazes me every time.

Allen said, "Timcanpy's a boy. Don't call him a thing or he'll get mad and bite." Allen pulled Timcanpy's lips up to reveal rows of razor sharp teeth.

Lavi gulped and said, "Gah! I'll keep that in mind."

Allen looked around and realized Kanda was nowhere to be found. He asked, "Where's Kanda-sempai?"

Lavi grinned, "Kanda always gets up at five in the morning to do his daily mediation and warm-up. Don't worry about him; he's almost never in the dorm."

Allen huffed, "I wasn't worried, just curious."

Lavi said, "Right, right. Anyways, let's go eat, ok?"

Allen's eyes lit up at the mention of food. He chirped, "Let's hurry up then!"

…

The two were in the school cafeteria, surrounded by the buzz of people talking.

Lavi stared in shock as he watched Allen devour his seventh plate of food. He wondered, 'How the hell does he eat that much… AND WHERE THE HELL DOES IT GO?'

Allen looked up at Lavi, "Hm? What's wrong?"

Lavi shook his head and grinned falsely, "Nothing."

Allen glanced at Lavi's plate of food, "You haven't touched your plate."

Lavi looked down and said, "A-ah, I'm not really hungry today."

Allen asked, "Then do you want me to finish it?"

Lavi exclaimed, "Eh? You still got room for more?"

Allen smiled cheerfully, "It's been a while since I've sat down and enjoyed a meal so I want to make this last as long as possible!"

Lavi asked, "Did you and Cross not have a lot of time to relax?"

Allen replied, gloom sinking into his voice, "Not really, we're usually running away from his debt collectors, so we're constantly on the move." At this point, he began to stab the pancakes brutally, remembering the crap Cross had put him through.

Lavi said, "A-ah, sorry for asking Allen. No need to take it out on your pancakes." He glanced at the clock and stood up, "Whaddya know, it's almost time for school." He grabbed Allen's hand, "Come on, let's get going."

Just as he opened the door, they saw Lenalee, who was about to knock on the door. She exclaimed, "Ah, Lavi, Allen-kun! Good thing I caught you guys before you left."

Allen asked, "Eh, Lenalee? What's the matter?"

Lenalee said, "I'm not sure why, but Nii-san asked that you two come see him in his office. Kanda is already on his way there."

Lavi said, "Kanda's going also?"

Lenalee said, "I have no clue what Nii-san wants but it involves all three of you." She sighed, "I just hope he's not planning something stupid."

…

Komui said cheerfully when he heard the door open, "My sweet, dear Lenalee! Welcome back!"

Lenalee said, "Thank you, Nii-san. I brought Allen and Lavi with me like you asked."

Komui got up and gave Lenalee a hug, "Thank you Lenalee, you're always so helpful!"

Lavi and Allen walked past Komui and Lenalee into the office. Lavi commented, "I wonder if he's actually in love with Lenalee or just has a huge brother complex."

Allen whispered back, "It's complicated." He then noticed Kanda and immediately, the mood soured.

Kanda said, "Che, the beansprout is here also?"

Allen smiled (though it was obviously strained), "That's no way to start a conversation, though I shouldn't expect any less from an idiot like yourself."

A few seconds of glaring passed before Lenalee intervened, "Oi, stop it and listen to what Nii-san has to say, ok?"

Komui beamed, "Lenalee, you're so strong yet kind!"

Kanda snapped, "Enough of your stupid love-fest. Tell us the reason we're here!"

Komui glared at him, "Don't interrupt me when I'm praising Lenalee!"

Lenalee said, "Nii-san, please hurry up and get to the point. School is starting soon."

Komui said, "Oh, of course Lenalee, I apologize. Anyways, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, you three are now part of the Fan-service club!"

". . . Eh?" Allen blinked.

Komui smiled, "That is all for now, come back here later so—"

Kanda glared, "Hold up! What the fuck are you saying? Are you drunk or something?"

Komui said huffily, "I'm not joking! You three will be forming the Fan-service club in order to raise money for this school."

Lavi waved his hand, "Wait, wait, what the hell is a Fan-service club?"

Komui said, "Isn't it obvious? It's a club dedicated to giving out fan-service. You know, doing things like cosplaying, cross-dressing, or taking shirtless photos then selling them—"

Allen held up a hand, "Um, back up a moment please Komui-san. This sounds a lot like prostitution . . ."

Komui waggled his finger, "No, no, Allen-kun, this is much cleaner. Our target is to make money off the female audience by providing them with a window to their fantasies!"

Kanda growled, "What did you smoke before coming up with this retarded idea?"

Komui huffed, "It is not stupid! It's brilliant! Why do you think host clubs make so much money? We'll be swimming in cash before you know it."

Lavi said, "But what's the need? The school's already pretty loaded with funds. It's not as if we need the money."

Komui said, "Well, duh, the school doesn't need it. The profits will go to me so that I can make a whole army of Komurins!" He waved his arms in the air in a grandiose manner, expecting a positive reaction. He was met with silence.

Finally, Kanda spoke, his eye twitching, "Are you saying that you're going to whore us out so you build your fucking stupid robots? Sorry but I decline."

Lavi whispered to Allen, "Remind me to get Yuu a reward later. I can't believe he hasn't pulled out his katana already. This is some serious self-control on his part."

Allen whispered back, "You call that self-control?"

Komui glared, "They're not stupid at all!"

Kanda said, "There's no way I'm agreeing to this crap!"

Just as he was about to turn away, Komui said, ". . . If you agree to help, I'll allow you to skip your trigonometry classes and give you an automatic passing grade."

At this Kanda froze. Trigonometry was his worst subject, and if he failed it, he would be forced to drop out of the kendo club. It was a very tempting offer, but not enough to win Kanda over. He said, "It'll take more than that to get me to join your stupid club."

Komui said, "Oh, there's more than that. If each of you join, you'll get free coupons for all-you-can-eat to any restaurant of your choice each month."

Allen immediately said, "I'm in!"

Komui turned to Lavi, "And you'll get all the girl's attentions. They'll be throwing themselves at you, just like a celebrity. Not to mention you get a fraction of the sales you rake in."

Being the pervert Lavi was, he said, "Strike! I'm in also!"

Kanda considered it for a bit. Seeing as he wasn't exactly a rich student, he couldn't afford to go to the best soba restaurants in town. But with this . . . and the added Trigonometry bonus . . . He said, "Fine, I'm in but I'm not fucking cross-dressing. Got that?"

Komui laughed, "Yes, yes, it's all good."

And with that, their filled-with-fangirls-squealing fates were sealed with a pretty pink ribbon.

…

_The Real Reason Lavi's Face was so Close to Allen's_

Lavi stretched, yawning loudly as he turned his alarm clock off. He got up and walked to the bathroom. He always got up early in the morning, so he was already wide awake. Letting the water run, he picked out his clothes for school. He glanced at Allen, who was still asleep. He thought, 'I'll wake the little guy later if he doesn't get up.' With that, he went to take his shower.

…

Lavi came out the bathroom, a cloud of steam following him. He rubbed his wet hair and shook it once. He glanced over at Allen, 'He's still asleep?' He sighed and walked over to Allen. Putting his hands on either side of Allen, he started to say, "Allen, wa—" He was then distracted by the scar on Allen's face. Something about it changed . . . Was the star-shape getting darker? His eyes traced the outline of the scar from the tip of the pentacle down to the zig-zag. He then stopped and found himself looking at Allen's lips.

They were unusually smooth and soft-looking for a male. Without the scar on his face, Allen would probably look like the ideal picture of a Sleeping Beauty. Everything about him was white, from his hair to his skin to his personality. It felt as if he could disappear at any moment with a flash of light. But with the scar, he seemed more . . . tangible and realistic.

Lavi was too deep in thoughts to notice that Allen's eyes were slowly opening. Lavi heard a little noise and looked up into Allen's bleary eyes.

". . ."

"Morning!"

"GYAAAAH!"


End file.
